summer adventures
by demonlord5000
Summary: stan just wanted to have a normal summer. you all know that won't happen. even worse, he has to spend the summer with his ADHD inflicted cousin.
1. Sophie's arrival

The children of Mr. garrison's 4th grade class waited anxiously for summer to arrive. They sat there with their eyes glued to the clock. Mr. garrison did the same until he spoke.

"Stanley could you please come up here?"

Stan got up and walked over to garrison. Who whispered something to stan and handed him a paintball gun. Stan spun around and shot three paintballs at cartman's crotch. Cartman groaned and fell to the ground in pain. At that moment the final bell rang.

"HOOOORRRRRAAAAAYYYYY!" all the children screamed in unison. Immediately everyone barreled their way out of the school.

"Finally dude, it's summer." stan said to kyle.

"I know dude. No school!" at that moment wendy ran up to them.

"Hey stan."

"Hey wendy, you going to Florida to see your cousin?"

"Yah. Can't believe we'll be apart for a whole month."

"Ah well. I'll wait for you wendy." stan leaned over to kiss wendy. He hadn't thrown up on her in months.

Stan and kyle walked the rest of the way to Stan's house.

"I heard you got that new Terrence and Phillip video game." kyle said.

"Yah dude, you gotta try it that game is-" stan froze as soon as his house was in view. They had gotten there in time to see a red car pull away from it.

"No… no she… she can't be here. Please god don't let her be here." Whoever "She" was kyle had no idea. Stan walked to the front door and cautiously opened the door. He and kyle walked inside. Stan looked around and breathed a sigh of relief. Two seconds later a girl who kyle didn't recognize tackled him to the ground.

"HI STAN!" she screamed loudly.

"GODDAMNIT SOPHIE GET OFF OF ME!" the girl got up and put her face uncomfortably close to Kyle's.

"Kyle, this is my cousin Sophie."

"H-hi sophie. Can you get out of my face?" stan's mom sharon walked into the room.

"Mom, what's sophie doing here?"

"Oh Stanley I was waiting to surprise you. Sophie's staying here all summer!"

Stan stood in silent shock for a moment. Then spoke.

"Fuck…"


	2. backyard confrontations

Kyle stepped back to get sophie away from his face. That didn't work. She just put her face right back into Kyle's.

"Uh Stan, I could use some help here." Stan grabbed sophie by the collar and dragged her to the couch. She responded with a soft "Wwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeee." Now that she wasn't in his face Kyle could make her out. She was a pretty girl with shoulder length, curly, ginger hair, a pink jacket, and pink pants. Her eyes were also the same color as her hair.

"Stanley!" Sharon called from the kitchen. "Why don't you and Kyle go up to the guest room and help sophie unpack?"

"God Dammit." Stan muttered under his breath as sophie skipped her way upstairs.

"Dude," Kyle whispered. "What the fuck is wrong with your cousin?"

"She has ADHD Kyle… come on." They made their way up to the guest room to help sophie unpacked. It didn't take long for Kyle to notice that she LOVED pink. Almost all the stuff they unpacked was pink. Pink lamp, pink blankets, pink…

"Kyle stop staring at Sophie's underwear!" Kyle dropped sophie's panties and got back to helping. Soon after they finished Kyle quickly made his way to the front door.

"Where are you going?" Stan called.

"Home."

"Kyle don't you dare leave me with sophie." Stan said making his way downstairs. "Kyle. Kyle! God Dammit." Stan turned around and jumped when he saw sophie was behind him.

"Come on Stan! Let's go outside!" sophie grabbed his hand and dragged him the back door. It was already twilight. Sophie dragged him over to the fence.

"Stan, help me reach that tree limb!"

"No."

"Come on."

"NO." now sophie started to talk REALLY FAST.

"Comeonstanwhywon'tyouhelpmeifyoudoi'llhelpyouwith …"

"SHUT UP!" sophie recoiled in shock from Stan's sudden outburst. "All you do is talk! You never shut up sophie!"

"B-but you were happy to have me stay the summer Stan. Aunt Sharon said so."

"HAPPY!? YOU THINK I'D BE HAPPY TO SEE YOUR FACE!? I NEVER WANTED YOU TO COME HERE SOPHIE! YOR THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON I'VE EVER MET! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU WANT TO COME ANYWAY SOPHIE!?" Stan stopped to take a breath and looked at sophie's face. To his shock, she was starting to cry.

"I-I just wanted to spend some time with you Stan." Sophie turned and ran into the house crying. Leaving Stan dumbfounded.

"Aw, now I feel like a dick."


	3. memories

Stan was pacing around his backyard. It had already gotten dark.

"Goddamnit. I didn't mean to make sophie cry."

"Then why did you say all that stuff to her?" Stan stopped and looked around for the person speaking.

"Who said that?"

"Up here Stan." Stan turned and looked at the top of the fence. A young girl with bright red hair with a blue hair clip holding it back was peeking over the fence.

"Sally Turner?"

"Well, I'm not red. Why were you so cruel to that girl?"

"She's my annoying cousin."

"But she's your family Stan. Deep down, you've got to love her."

"I'm sorry. I just can't feel anything for sophie." Sally jumped over the fence and landed on the ground with a soft thud.

"Come on Stan, hasn't sophie ever brought anything good into your life?" Stan thought for a moment, and then it hit him.

"If it wasn't for sophie, I never would've met Wendy."

"Tell me about that."

"Well, it started when I was 4 years old. A year before I met Kyle. Sophie was visiting and my mom took us to the town fair…

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Little Stan and sophie were running around the carousel happily. Wait, let me rephrase that, Stan was running around the carousel trying to get away from sophie who was happily chasing him.

"Leave me alone sophie!" Stan shouted but the girl wouldn't let up. Stan finally managed to shake her when he jumped into a bush. Sophie stopped, confused, and looked around. Then she heard crying. She went to investigate and found a young girl being verbally, and physically, abused by another boy.

"Stan, sophie, come kids it's time to go!" Sharon called. Sophie turned and ran back to the carousel where Stan had come out and was brushing himself off. Sophie grabbed his wrist and dragged him back to the girl.

"Sophie! Let go of…" Stan caught sight of the girl being bullied. The kid bullying her threw his ice-cream on top of her and started kicking her in the gut.

"Leave her alone!" Stan shouted running in between the boy and girl.

"Why should ah?" the boy asked coldly.

"Because if you don't, I'll kick your fat ass back to last year."

"Respect my authoretah asshole!" Stan threw out a punch, his fist collided with the boy's nose and Stan smile when there was a sickening crack and a lot of blood. The boy started crying.

"MEM! He hit me!" the boy cried running off. Stan turned and helped the girl up. She was covered in ice-cream.

"Are you ok?" Stan asked worriedly.

"Wh-why did you help me?" the girl sniffled.

"I couldn't let a pretty girl like you be hurt like that. What's your name anyway?"

"W-Wendy."

"Nice to meet you Wendy, I'm Stan. Don't worry, that Godzilla-medusa offspring won't hurt you again." Wendy giggled at what Stan called the boy. Suddenly Wendy's mom ran up to them.

"Wendy! What happened to you!?" she turned to face Stan. "What did you do to her!?"

"Mommy. This kid was being mean to me, then Stan here beat him up and made him go away."

"Oh, really? I'm sorry for accusing you Stan."

"That's alright mam." Stan said with a smile. Knowing that he had just saved the love of his life.

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"Wow." Sally whispered.

"I never really thanked sophie for helping me meet Wendy."

"Stan, you love sophie and you know it. You need to be there for her, just like I'm always there for my niece Heidi."

"Wait, back up a minute. Heidi turner is your NIECE?"

"Yeah, my big brother screwed a hooker, got her pregnant, married her, then three months before my first birthday, Heidi was born."

"But, the hooker was clean, right?"

"Oh yeah, no STDs. Stan, do you love sophie?"

Stan thought for a moment.

"Yeah, I guess I do care for sophie."

"Go tell her that."

"I will, thanks sally."

"No problem." Stan turned to walk back inside while sally started climbing the fence. Stan froze suddenly.

"Hey sally?"

"Yeah?" sally stopped climbing to look at Stan.

"How long have you been my neighbor?"

"Seven years."

"And you never told me?"

"You never asked."

Stan knocked on the guest room door quietly. There was no answer. But Stan heard sophie crying. He opened the door and saw it was dark in the room. He could barely see sophie lying on the bed with her back facing him.

"Sophie?"

"Go away."

Stan walked into the room and sat down on the bed. He gently placed his hand on sophie's shoulder.

"Sophie, I didn't mean what I said."

"Yes you did."

"Ok, maybe a little. But I'm sorry. I never should have said those things to you."

"You don't know how much it hurt to hear you say those things Stan."

"Your right, I don't. But sophie, you're my cousin. I love you. I care for you. And I never got to thank you." Sophie sat up and looked Stan in the eye. Even with the darkness. Stan could see that here eyes were red from crying.

"Thank me, for what?"

"Remember that girl from the state fair 4 years ago, the one that was getting bullied?"

"That Wendy girl?"

"Yeah, thanks to you, Wendy and I are in a happy relationship. I met the love of my life because of you. Thank you sophie."

Sophie smiled happily at Stan.

"Your welcome."

"And, I'm willing to tolerate you for the summer. Maybe tomorrow, I could give you a tour of South Park. You could even meet all my friends."

"I'd like that."

Stan smiled and held out his arms. Sophie smiled too and embraced her cousin in a warm hug.

"I love you sophie." Stan whispered.

"I love you too Stan." Sophie whispered back.

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_Anyone wanna take a guess at who that kid bullying Wendy was? The conversation between him and Stan gives off some hints._


	4. demon hunt part 1

It had been a week since sophie had arrived, and stan's uncle jimbo decided to take his niece and nephew on a hunting trip. Just him and the two cousins, nobody else.

"Come on you two!" Jimbo called from his jeep. The sun was just now rising. Stan was half asleep while sophie was literally bouncing off the walls. They got in the jeep and jimbo drove off. Soon however, stan shouted.

"Uncle Jimbo! Stop!" jimbo immediately hit the brakes.

"What?" stan pulled an assault rifle out from under his seat and took aim at cartman's window.

"I don't think you'll hit him stan." sophie replied.

"The idiot keeps an oil lamp on his desk for some reason." stan fired and the shot hit its mark. Igniting cartman's room. Cartman crashed through the window yelling "WEEEAAAAKKK!" he landed on the snow, got up, saw sophie, and made his way over.

"Hey, what's a pretty girl like you doing here so early?"

"…"

"…"

Sophie punched cartman as hard as she could, knocking him out.

"Drive!" she called to jimbo, who immediately hit the gas pedal.

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Three hours later stan was helping sophie line up the shot so she could make her first hunt.

"OK sophie, you got it lined up on the deer?"

"Yep."

"OK, don't shoot till I shout out."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"WE NEED TO THIN OUT THEIR NUMBERS!"

BANG! BANG! BANG!

THUD!

"Nice shot sophie!"

"Hey, what's that?" sophie asked pointing to a strange cave.

"Dunno, let's check it out."

"What about uncle jimbo?"

"Eh, he's drunk, he won't mind."

"OK, RACE YA!" sophie somehow got to the entrance of the cave in two and a half seconds.

"God dammit! How does she do that?" stan ran to the cave and he and sophie went in to explore. Luckily, stan was carrying a lantern so they could see in the cave.

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Meanwhile, at the McCormick house(If you call it a house.)…

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No!"

"Please kenny?"

"I said no Karen!"

"Why?"

"Because I've been saving this money for over a year to get a new game. Not so I could blow it on ice cream!"

"But Kenny?"

"NO!" kenny caught sight of Karen's little puppy dog face. "Don't give me that face!"

"…"

"You had better pay me back Karen."

"YAY!" they left the house and made their way to the ice cream shop. Kenny loved karen, but even he needed to be strict sometimes. Karen ordered a hot fudge Sunday while kenny ordered a banana split. They ate ice cream then took a walk through the park when they found craig looking distressed.

"Oh man, mom's going to murder me."

"What's up craig?"

"I was supposed to watch my little sister today but she ran off! Mom's going to skin me alive!"

"We'll help you find her."

"Really!? Thanks Ken."

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"Which way did we come in from, sophie?"

"Um…"

"God dammit sophie!" stan and sophie were lost in the cave. And stan was getting increasingly pissed off. He turned the lantern and soon it's light fell upon a strange creature looking at them. It was a tall skinny humanoid werewolf like creature with large sharp teeth and claws. It stared at them with its red eyes. Sophie stuck her tongue out at it, indicating that she did not like it. Suddenly, stan's lantern blew out, and he heard sophie's bloodcurdling scream through the darkness. He fumbled with the lantern and managed to relight it. The creature was gone and sophie was nowhere in sight.

"Sophie?" he took a step forward and he stepped in a puddle of sorts. Stan looked down and was horrified at the sight.

Lying down on the ground in a pool of her own blood, was sophie…

**TO BE CONTINUDE… **


	5. demon hunt part 2

Stan was at sophie's side within seconds. He put his ear to her mouth and, to his relief, she was breathing. Stan pulled the emergency first aid kit out of his pack, disinfected the great slash on her side, and bandaged the wound as much as he could. He needed to find a way out of the cave, but he couldn't leave sophie, and he couldn't move her or he could cause more damage.

"God where's kyle when you need him?"

Meanwhile…

Kyle was innocently browsing on his father's computer when he came across something.

"Hmm. Porn. I wonder what that is." he wondered as he clicked on the link.

Meanwhile, back at the cave…

"He's probably watching porn on his dad's computer."

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Karen and kenny were helping craig search for his little sister ruby. Karen was searching under a trashcan(What little kids think of.) when she heard something. She turned and met ruby face to face for the first time.

"Are you ruby?"

"You can't make me go back to my brother!"

"Why did you run away from him?"

"Because he's always mean to me! He never cares about me!" ruby started to cry. "He never takes care of me and when I try to get his attention, he pushes me to the ground!"

"Just because he does those things doesn't mean he doesn't love you. My brother kenny can be cold sometimes but I know deep down that I'm the most important thing in his life."

"R-really?"

"Yes, will you please go back to your brother?" ruby nodded and fallowed karen to where craig was. The second he saw ruby he embraced her in a tight hug. Tears were flowing out of his eyes.

"Ruby! Thank god your OK!" kenny and karen stood watching. Karen was nuzzled up to her brother.

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"Come on sophie! Wake up!" stan straightened up as a noise sounded behind him. He picked up his rifle and turned to face the demon. Its red eyes stared at him coldly. Stan's lantern went out again, but this time, he fired his rifle in all directions. He heard something fall to the ground and managed to turn his lantern back on. To his surprise, Damien was standing next to the fallen beast.

"Hmm. Right to the eye. Nice shot stan." he said inspecting the creature.

"Damien, what is that thing?"

"A demon that escaped from hell. Thank my father you killed it."

"Can you help my cousin?" stan asked pointing to sophie.

"No, but I can get you out of this cave…" in a flash, stan and sophie were back near the campsite. Stan looked at sophie and saw that her wound had opened back up.

"Uncle jimbo!" he called. "We need to get sophie to a hospital NOW!"

3 DAYS LATER…

Stan walked quietly into the hospital room, flowers in hand. Sophie looked up at him and smiled.

"Hey stan."

"Hey sophie." he set the flowers on her bedside table. "You alright?"

"Yeah. The doctors said I could leave tomorrow. Thanks for saving me."

"No problem. I never actually told anyone this but… I've actually always thought of you as a sister to me."

Sophie's smile grew. "Thanks stan."


	6. romeo and Juliet

Stan had brought Sophie to the town's performing arts center to try out for the one of the town's monthly plays. As they both signed up, Kyle walked by.

"Hey Kyle, do you know what play they're showing this month?"

"Yeah, Romeo and Juliet."

"original, or modern?" sophie asked.

"modern." The cousins groaned in frustration.

"Hey, don't look down, I trying out for Romeo."

"Me too, but for comedy." Stan said.

"Wha…"

"You'll see."

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"Alright, next, Stan marsh." Mr. Garrison called. Sadly, he was directing the play. He looked at the stage as Bebe stood outside a window. "Action!"

"Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou Romeo?" Bebe called. Stan stuck his head out the window.

"I'm right here ya dumb bitch! Now go away, I'm trying to masturbate!" everyone burst into laughter, except Bebe, who just looked pissed.

"Alright Stanley, next!" garrison laughed.

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"Alright Kyle, let's rehearse." Garrison had picked Kyle and Bebe for the leading roles because only Kyle, Stan and Bebe, tried out for those roles. Sophie wanted a minor role because she did not want to risk kissing Stan. "We're doing the kissing scene."

"Do I have to kiss Bebe for real?"

"Yes, start at line 106, action!" Bebe and Kyle turned to each other.

"Saints don't move, even when they grant prayers." Bebe recited.

"Then don't move while I act out my prayer." Kyle recited as he and Bebe leaned in to kiss each other. Before their lips met, however, Bebe was brought down by a falling sandbag!

"Bebe! Kyle shouted.

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A half hour later, Kyle watched as Bebe was wheeled into an ambulance. The sand bag had broken her back, but the paramedics said she would live.

"How could this have happened?" Kyle asked, turning to Stan.

"I don't know, but we'll have to use Heidi turner for Juliet now."

"I'm ready!" Heidi called from the stage. However, as Kyle walked up to her, one of the stage lights fell onto Heidi's foot, shattering every bone as she fell to the ground screaming in pain.

"Oh Christ, hey!" he called to the paramedics, he pointed them to Heidi. "Who's next?" he asked, turning to garrison.

"Lizzy." Lizzy swallowed hard. "But we'll have to wrap it up for today to fix that stage light."

"Let's go with Bebe and Heidi to the hospital." Stan suggested.

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The ride to the hospital had been a long one. And Kyle caught Stan texting the way there. They watched as Bebe was operated on and waited until the doctors had left.

"You OK Bebe?"

"Yeah, but Heidi's the lucky one." Heidi had been sent home after they put a cast on her foot.

"Well, we'll try to get you a video of the…" he was interrupted by Stan's phone ringing. Stan answered quickly.

"Hello… no, no, she's fine, she'll live… yeah she's awake… OK." He handed the pone to Bebe. She put it to her ear.

"Hello? Oh hey Wendy. No, I'm fine…" Stan waited until her extensive conversation with Wendy was over, took back his phone, and left the room with Kyle and Sophie. As they entered the hall, they saw the doctors wheeling in a gurney. They saw, to there horror, that lizzy was on it. Kenny ran up to them.

"Kenny, what happened?"

"Lizzy's dresser fell on her! Guys, I don't think these are accidents!"

"What do you mean?"

"The front legs of lizzy's dresser were sawed down. The bolts on the stage lights were removed, and the rope that supported the sand bag was cut!"

"Who would want to sabotage the play?"

"I don't know."

"I'm going to look into this." Stan whispered.

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"Your set to play Juliet now sophie." Kyle told her as she walked onto the stage nervously.

"What's the point Kyle?" garrison said. "Every girl who plays Juliet gets injured."

"But Mr. garrison…"

"I'm sorry children; we'll have to cancel the play."

"Wait!" Stan called as he ran into the room. "I found out whose sabotaging the play!"

"What!? Who!?" garrison asked. Stan reached outside the room, and pulled in a young girl with a green jacket, and messy, brown hair. Her eyes were wide in shock. Everyone was silent.

"Who's that?" cartman asked.

"REBECCA!" mark cotswolds shouted suddenly. He ran off the stage to his sister. Kyle was shocked.

"Rebecca cotswolds!?"

"Kyle!" she called to him. "Kyle, please take me back!"

"NO! You tried to kill those girls."

"Please!" Rebecca begged. Her eyes wandered to Sophie. She screamed and charged her, whipping out a knife and plunging it into her arm.

"OW! You bitch!" the police came out of nowhere and grabbed Rebecca.

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Kyle watched as the police lead Rebecca into a car to take her to a mental asylum.

"Please Kyle?" she begged again.

"No Rebecca, after all the stuff you did, I'll never take you back." Rebecca looked saddened, then her eyes wandered to someone else, and she smiled.

"Hi, Stan…" Stan's eyes widened as the police drove Rebecca away.

"Now I'm scared…"

"I don't care Stan, she's attracted to you now!"


	7. sophie's dream

_This is just a short little dream sophie is having, just here for fun._

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Sophie sat in a creepy room. Creepy because it was like a room from silent hill. She was being bothered by a screeching noise that was getting closer, but she was too afraid to move. She tried to open the doors, but all of the locks were broken. Suddenly, a giant rusted blade sliced the back door open, in walking everyone's favorite pyramid headed monster. He grabbed sophie by the neck, and pierced her stomach with his long tongue…

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Sophie jolted awake, a controller in hand and an open silent hill 2 case at her feet.

"I have got to stop playing those games. Then again…" she grabbed the controller and resumed her game.

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_I don't care if this chapter sucks. Flame if you want, but with every flame I'm more likely to delete this story. By the way, there's a poll on my profile page so you can vote whether or not you want me to add more OC's to this story. _


	8. coon & friends a new hero part 1

It was a "normal" day in South Park, and the coon and friends, now stationed in in Stan's basement to keep cartman from interfering, were hard at work.

"Stan, how can you be sure cartman won't get to the crimes first?" mysterion asked suddenly.

"Just a few thousand dollars and the police chief will tell me anything." The phone rang, and stan picked up. After a few moments, the call ended.

"Guys, there's a girl trapped in a burning building!"

"What! What do we do!?" human kite shouted.

"We save her kyle!"

"What about cartman!?"

"The police chief is going to postpone the news broadcast until we get there."

"Sweet."

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"God damn! Why is it so hot?" human kite asked as they arrived at the burning building. Everyone looked at him like he was crazy.

"I don't know kyle, why don't you ask the firemen standing by the burning building?" mysterion asked. Kyle gave him a death glare.

"Go fuck off Kenny."

"Make me."

"No one's going to cheer you on Kenny!"

"Help that girl guardian angel!" they heard Karen call from the crowd of onlookers.

"Aw come on!" Kyle yelled while mysterion laughed.

"HEY!" they heroes looked up to see stan on a fire truck ladder. "Are you guys coming?"

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The heroes walked carefully on the burning floor, each step endangering their lives. They had split up into pairs, leaving Stan and Kenny together.

"Hello, anyone there?" stan called. Kenny walked up to a bookcase, noticing a bunch of playboys on its shelves. As he reached for one however, a chandelier hanging above him fell, crushing him.

"OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY!" Stan shouted. And he answered his cell phone as it rang. "Hello?"

"YOU BASTARDS!" Kyle screamed over the phone.

"OW, dammit kyle, you nearly deafened me!"

"HELP!" Stan heard a female voice scream from the next room. He charged through the door to find the girl on a bed. He ran to her side.

"Don't worry, I'll get you out of here." Stan lifted the girl. She was surprisingly light. Stan called Kyle back to tell him he had the girl, and carried her out the door, to be met with his least favorite person.

"Drop her hippie! I'm the only one who's being the hero around here!" cartman shouted as he pulled a pistol out at Stan.

"Is that Justin bieber?"

"What, I thought I killed him!" cartman turned, and immediately Stan swiped the gun from him.

"Ha, I only put blanks in there!" Stan put the pistol to cartman's arm, and pulled the trigger, blowing a hole in cartman's skin.

"OW! WHAT THE FUCK!?"

"Blanks are still deadly fatass." Stan left cartman to wallow in pain, and jumped out of a window to land on a fire truck ladder. He brought the girl to an ambulance quickly.

"This girl needs help, she's badly burned!"

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"The girl will be OK." Stan told Kenny the next day as they walked through the hospital hallways.

"Do you still remember my deaths Stan?" Kenny asked. Stan started laughing.

"Ha, a meteor… did they repair that hole?"

"Yep."

"That was funny."

"Karen didn't think it was funny!"

"I did."

"What did you do afterwards?"

"We finished the game, I let Karen win."

"OK." Stan froze as they passed an open room. He backed up to see the shock of the day.

"Sophie, what happened to you!?" Sophie lay on the hospital bed, her arm was bandaged heavily.

"I got stuck in a burning building last night." Stan looked worried.

"And, how did you get out?"

"Oh this really nice boy with power tools saved me. We got stalled a bit because cartman showed up, but that boy hurt cartman with his own gun! Isn't that amazing stan!?"

"Uh, yeah, th-that's amazing sophie…"


	9. coon & friends a new hero part 2

Stan and sally walked calmly through the park. Well, if you count Stan's nervousness calm. It wasn't long before sally spoke up.

"What's wrong with you? Do you have a live raccoon up your ass?"

"No, I'm just having trouble keeping a secret from Sophie."

"What's the secret?"

"Well…"

"Are you gay?"

"No."

"Are you dying?"

"We're all dying, it's called LIFE."

"Are you in a sexual relationship with Wendy?"

"No."

"Are you in a sexual relationship with someone else?"

"NO."

"…Do you want to be?" Stan looked at her like she was insane.

"What are you getting at sally?"

"UH, nothing!" she said quickly.

"Right, well, what's the best way I can tell Sophie my secret?"

"Do it in a way that won't get any unwanted reactions."

"That's not very helpful advice."

"I can't always come up with good advice."

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It was night, and Stan was once again dressed as toolshed. He had bribed cartman into trying to rob Sophie so she might ask to see Stan under his mask after he saved her. On cue, cartman jumped out of an ally to confront Sophie.

"Go away fatass."

"Give me all your money, bitch!" he responded, pulling out a pistol. Sophie shook when she saw it.

"I- I said GO AWAY!" she backed up as cartman got closer. "SOMEONE HELP!" on cue, Stan leapt from the roof he was standing on, and landed on cartman, knocking him out instantly. Sophie leapt with joy at the sight of him.

"Oh my god, it's you!" she ran up and embraced him. "You saved me again."

"Anytime." Stan said, disguising his voice.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Do you want me to take off my mask?"

"No, I want you to kiss me." Stan froze.

"Uh… what?"

"Kiss me."

"I don't think that's appropriate."

"Yes it is. You saved me, now you kiss me. Everyone knows that."

"Uh, I can't."

"Why?"

"I… have a cold, and you might get sick."

"I don't care." She drew forward…

"SOPHIE I SAID NO!" Stan slapped his hand over his mouth. He had forgotten to disguise his voice.

"S-Stan?"

"Uh… I can explain."


	10. coon & friends a new hero part 3

"Please explain." sophie told stan, looking at him expectantly.

"Uh, I'm a super hero."

"OH MY GOD, REALLY!? CAN I BE ONE!?"

"UH, I don't think that's necessary."

"Canibeasuperherocanibeasuperherocanibeasuperhero… "

"OK!"

"Yay!"

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"No." kenny said defiantly.

"Aw."

"Come on kenny, let sophie join."

"If I let sophie join then everyone will want to join!"

"How about, if I beat you at surfing, you let me join. I believe token has a surf machine."

"Your on."

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"I WANT A FUCKING REMATCH!"

"Kenny, sophie beat you fair and square."

"You didn't tell me she was a surfing champion!"

"I live in a beach house in California, what do you expect?"

"GODDAMMIT!"

"Come on sophie, let's put your costume together." stan said, dragging her into her room. Kyle walked up to kenny.

"Dude, you gotta admit, she owned you."

"I swear to god, someone's going to get hurt."

"NO YOU CAN'T MAKE YOUR COSTUME OUT OF SUGER!" stan screamed from inside sophie's room.

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"Are you guys ready?" stan asked the coon and friends later that night.

"Just bring her out!" kenny snapped.

"Alright, pisshead. SOPHIE!" the girl came down the stairs, dressed in a hooded cloak, a pair of fake wings, and carried a sword and a bow and arrow.

"Who are you supposed to be, robin hood?" kenny asked, a few heroes laughed. Sophie looked annoyed.

"NO, I'm dark angel, I'm a fallen angel who tried to gain control of the universe, and in the process, I gained dark powers." she said, pulling her hood up so that it covered her eyes a little.

"Hey guys." kyle said, hanging up the phone. "The town bank is being robbed."

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"Alright, coon and friends, we need to think up a plan." kenny said as the heroes walked up to the bank entrance. "Toolshed, dark angel, you guys…"

*CRASH*

"SOPHIE!" stan screamed. Kenny turned to see sophie standing next to the mangled remains of a car.

"Sorry."

"How did she… never mind. Stan, sophie, go in from the roof…"

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"Alright, sophie, we need to do this quietly." stan said as the two stood on a chandelier above the robbers. How they got up there, don't ask.

"Right."

"Now, you go… sophie?" the girl was no longer on the chandelier.

*CRASH*

Stan looked over the edge to see sophie on the ground, the robbers unconscious, and a LOT of things broken.

"Sorry." stan sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose.


	11. coon & friends a new hero part 4

"Congratulations Stan, you're now the leader of coon and friends!" Kenny said a week after the bank incident.

"Really? sweet!"

"Yes and your first task as leader is to kick sophie out of coon and friends." Stan's smile fell.

"What, but she hasn't done anything wrong."

"Are you fucking serious!?" he pulled out a photo album. "Look at this!" each picture in the album featured Sophie standing next to something destroyed, and looking apologetic.

"Like I said nothing wrong."

"Stop defending her!" he pulled out a sheet of paper. "I have signatures from everyone who wants sophie out." The paper had everyone's names except Stan and sophie. "Stan, right now, this is about being serious, which sophie is not."

"No it's not, it's about sophie's feelings!"

"If you don't kick her out by the end of the week, we'll make her leave." Kenny said, walking out of the room.

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Stan found Kyle talking to sophie, walked up, and punched his super best friend in the face, crushing his nose.

"OW, dude, what the hell!?" Stan shoved the paper into Kyle's face. "Oh, that, that's nothing."

"The hell it's not!"

"What is it?" sophie asked curiously. Stan sighed and showed her the paper. Sophie's eyes widened. "Y-you're not going to kick me out, are you Stan?"

"No sophie, I'm not." Stan said walking away. Sophie turned to Kyle, who was trying to stop the bleeding in his nose.

"What is the matter with you?"

"Sophie, this is about being serious, which you are not."

"No it's not, its aboot my feelings!"

"Well I… did you just say "aboot"?"

"What?"

"You just said aboot!"

"We're not talking aboot how I say things Kyle!"

"Why did you say aboot?" sophie, now pissed off, took a few steps back, picked up some snow, packed it into a ball, and threw it at Kyle as hard as she could, nailing him in the nuts. Kyle's eyes widened, and after a few seconds, he let out a shriek so loud, all the windows at Stan's house shattered.

"You're paying for those." Sophie said as Kyle collapsed to the ground in pain. She rolled her eyes, grabbed Kyle's wallet, and took all his money.

"Looks like I'll be able to buy myself something to."

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"Are you sure this'll work?" sophie asked as she stood with Stan outside Kenny's house.

"I haven't even told you my plan."

"Oh." And with that, Stan knocked on the door. Kenny answered.

"Kenny, I want to talk to you about your decision."

"You won't change my mind."

"Can I at least use your bathroom?"

"Fine." He allowed Stan entrance, leaving him alone with Sophie.

"So, sophie, how's life?"

"Good, can you pull your hood down?" Kenny removed his signature hood, revealing his messy blond hair. Sophie took in the sight, when they heard Karen McCormick's blood curdling shriek.

"Karen!?" the two charged to Karen's room, where Stan was holding a knife to the little girl's throat.

"Sophie stays in coon and friends, or I slit her throat!"

"You're lying." Stan grimaced, and pressed the blade to her throat, causing some blood to leak out, it was not fatal, but it was enough.

"Stop STOP! OK, you don't have to kick sophie out."

"And I keep leadership."

"NO!" Stan pressed the blade to Karen's throat even more, causing more blood to spill out.

"OK!" with that, Stan released Karen, who stumbled over to her brother, clutching her throat. Stan and Sophie left the house.

"Fuck Stan, that was crazy."

"But it worked."

"Yeah. I know you did it because you care aboot me."

"I still find it hard to get over that."

"You know my mom was Canadian."

"Yeah."


End file.
